So, it’s Day 3. I’ve written a little over 500 words in my two posts to date. So few words and so little actual time devoted to it and yet my exercise in mindfulness is already infusing my days with positivity.
I have lived November the first and second as calm, contented Me. Recognising the small choices that are presented to me at various points in the day, taking a moment and then making the best decision for me.
An afternoon visit to a cafe: shall I have another coffee or maybe even an indulgent glass of wine? You know what, maybe just a water. I’ve got stuff to do later and I neither want to be asleep nor suffering from palpitations.
Night time. I’m tired and about to head up the stairs to bed, averting my gaze from the pile of dirty dishes on the side. I stop at the bottom step and, hand on banister, allow myself to actually look at the kitchen worktop and think for a moment. Sure, I could do them in the morning but I want to write in the morning. I don’t want to come down to this mess and spend the first hour dealing with it. I’d like to come down to pleasant order and get stuck straight into my day. I quietly restore order to the kitchen in what turns out to be a pleasant pre-bed wind down. (Who knew? Better housekeepers than me, that’s who.)
And when my toddler son goes into wind up mummy mode (as he does at various points throughout the day – he’s a toddler. It’s his job.) he is surprised to find that new, unwound mummy is less quick to respond with near-hysterics to his antics. She is more likely to take a breath, raise an eyebrow and – wait for it – say something reasonable. (That’s as opposed to shrieking it.) That takes the wind out of his sails.
All little moments. Small choices. The key thing is that for the last two days they have felt easy to make. And, just as poor choices do, these small, positive choices have snowballed throughout the day. I have found myself feeling better and better about myself which in turn has made it easier and easier to make the right decision in every little choice that presents itself.
It is as if the simple act of blogging mindfully in the morning has created a pocket of extra space in my days. It has inserted a beat of time into the moment between an event and my reaction to it. A moment in which I can see with calm clarity and choose my best response.
Long live NaBloPoMo!