Premonition or Invitation?

Today has been one of those days where things have just gone wrong. From little things to quite big things. From simple failures to failures that I seem to have compounded via a catalogue of avoidable errors.

The funny thing is that the two major incidents of today were both catastrophes that I foresaw. You know how it is when you dread doing something because you just know it’s going to go horribly wrong? So you put it off and put if off and then you eventually get around to tackling it and guess what? It goes horribly wrong. Well there you have my day today.

It got me to wondering how much of my foreboding was a genuine sixth sense and how much was me creating a problem where there didn’t need to be one. Sadly (actually maybe not, maybe it’s a good thing if I can just be bothered to act on the knowledge) the ratio came down to 20% premonition and 80% invitation to disaster. Roughly.

So there you have it. If I spent less time sitting round on my arse not doing stuff while I build said stuff up into a big deal in my head and place road blocks in my own way then my life would run a lot smoother.

And that’s where mindfulness comes in. I need to bring my attention to the moment. Deal with things in the moment they arise, as opposed to letting them stew and fester and then dealing with them just before it’s too late. Brinkmanship in daily life and household tasks, that’s my style. Even more idiotic than it sounds. Talk about creating stress where there doesn’t need to be any.

If I am truly mindful I will stop wasting time on looking backwards and apportioning blame. So, I should have done it ages ago, so what? All I can do is do it now. Better that than sit around for another age blaming myself and still not doing anything about it.

If I am truly mindful I will stop looking anxiously to the future, second-guessing the possible results of any action taken now. I will stop inviting disaster in. Paralysing myself from taking any action by making myself afraid and then creating a disaster through missing deadlines or not performing tasks that should have been done.

If I am truly mindful I will live in the now. I will do what needs doing now, now. I will do what I can, now. After all, in reality there is only the now.


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