How Rude!

You know what they say, ‘my job would be fine if it weren’t for the ruddy clients.’ At least I think that’s how the saying goes. If not, then I’m patenting it today. You read it here first.

Anyway, I have spent most of today being gradually wound up further and further by some exceedingly demanding and downright rude clients. I don’t like rudeness. I guess nobody does but I really don’t like rudeness. I’m also unused to working in a sales role where, I’m quickly learning, it seems (some) people think you’re simply obliged to bend over backwards to please them and to just sit there and suck up any rudeness they dish out at you without retaliating or challenging it in any way. Hmmmph.

Ordinarily I’m more of a ‘point out that what you just said/how you just said it isn’t really acceptable’ kind of a girl. I find it makes me feel a lot better than biting it back and pushing it down into a seething mass of bile in my tummy. But in the context of client relations I can see that that *could* be tantamount to cutting my nose off to spite my face. I might win a rather tiny victory in standing up for myself and pointing out their transgressions but if I then lose a potential sale and therefore my income (yes, it’s as black and white as that – I’m self-employed: no sale, no money. At all.) then it would be a pyrrhic victory at best.

So, at various points today I have stepped away from my phone and taken a few deep breaths, reminded myself of the outcome I am looking for (a sale! some cash!) and that I am not these people’s keeper. It is not my place to lecture them on their behaviour and, thank God!, I don’t have to live with them. I have also had to ring my partner to offload at him. Somebody needed to hear how rude they were being, it just couldn’t be them.

Once I had taken these steps I was able to re-engage in conversation with them, focused steadfastly on my goal and manfully ignoring when their behaviour veered to the unreasonable. And writing about it now is also helping.

I think they were having a bad day, plus I think they probably just don’t have very good manners generally. But that’s not my problem and I need to be sure I don’t turn it into my problem by responding to it.

What about you? Do you have any techniques for dealing with rudeness? How do you dispel the negativity of others without internalizing it yourself? All tips gratefully received!


9 thoughts on “How Rude!

  1. upflip

    I used to find that, with some people at least, if you try to look past the rudeness and treat the person kindly, they might start to feel bad and in the back of his/her mind realize that they were being extremely rude. Some of these people are looking for a fight, and others simply need someone to stomp on due to feelings of powerlessness in other aspects of his/her life. If you keep these things in mind while listening to that person, and just think that maybe they are dealing with something horrible in their lives, it might alleviate some of the anger in you.

    1. polaris299

      The unfortunate reality is that there are people out there who know they are rude and they revel in it. They work on being so, and improving their skills. I guess these folks have to feel better about themselves and this is the only way they can.
      Most of the rude people I have encountered are those who have been rude because they didn’t know any better or that they have gone through there day having the world be rude to them. I have found that if I am able to, just letting them spew their anger and sadness out gives them the opportunity to see that the world isn’t really all that bad. Once people are able to see a bit of light, they can often let go of the rudeness enough to smile back. I figure that if I am able to make one person like this smile a day, I am doing my part to make the world a better place


  2. rezgurl

    I am sorry you had to encounter rude people. Like you said, it is often people are having a bad day or many bad days and they take it out on other people. Then again they might just be plain rude. When I encounter people like that, I usually take a few deep breaths and make myself think of all the positive things in my life. Like the fact I am not a rude terrible person like the ones encountered. Take a few moments and look at some funny dog/cat photos or look at photos of babies. I think of my husband, my dogs and my daughter and I instantly feel better. I think of good things I have and think that it’s really sad that the rude person doesn’t feel happiness the way we do because positivity is so much more healthier and way more fun.

  3. Asturian Diary Post author

    Gosh, that´s some high ideal to live up to! I guess if I could muster a tiny fraction of her patience and compassion then the rudeness of others would be like water off a duck´s back to me. Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to comment.


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