Is this the sign I asked for, Universe? It certainly feels like a powerful sign, even though it’s not something I would have knowingly requested.
I am so angry right now. Fuming. And as Public Image Limited so rightly sang (yelled?) all those years ago: anger is an energy. And boy do I feel energized right now. And like yelling.
I will have to act on it because my body and mind have united to force me into action. I am literally shaking with adrenalin. Sleep will not come easy tonight, although perhaps more so after typing this out. With each word released on the tiny screen of my smartphone (I’m that desperate to blog that I’m doing it one fingered on my phone!) I can feel my anger drain and my body and mind settle.
But that is not to deny my anger or its validity. It is just to say that by expressing it I am releasing its power.
I have genuinely been wronged, and my partner even more so, by a xenophobic, small minded, lazy, control freak idiot. His actions and attitude I can only describe as unbelievable.
My fear is that they are likely symptomatic of the culture he was born into. The culture I now live in.
As I wrestle with the question of whether I should continue to live here, to raise my son here; for a countryman of this place to behave in this way to me and my partner cannot help but feel like a sign.
Maybe it’s time to go.