I made a solemn vow to try and stop shouting at my son. It was getting out of hand, upsetting him and me. What feels like a temporary release instantly blows over into increased misery all round. So I decided to make a real effort.
At first I was rubbish. But then I realized it was actually quite easy. Taking that millisecond, that beat, to pause, breathe and control could turn it all around. I actually felt like a but if a fraud. Like an actor playing ‘nice mummy’. But overall I felt happy and proud and pleased with myself. There was just one thing. I left one key component out of my strategy. Daddy. Aka my other half. It seemed like all the shouting I subdued I redirected from son to Dad. Or at least when I was being so delightful to the little one it made my nastiness to the big one seem even worse. And I hadn’t even thought of that. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I should even try to be nicer to him. Telling.
So there you go. Equality for all. If you make a commitment to happiness and harmony it needs to be universal. At least in its intent, if not in it’s initial application.